you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
