weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
