why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
