Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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