This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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