real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize