would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
