But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
PS: I just woke up from my shower
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
