She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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