remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
