WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
