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• (214): View more from Texas

  I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  Her vagina smelled like bad decisions

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!

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• (985): View more from Louisiana

  Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.

  (1-985): View more from Louisiana

  Do I have a choice?

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Are you alive?

  (1-703): View more from Virginia

  I woke up under the pier.

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• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (480): View more from Arizona

  His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished

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• (361): View more from Texas

  Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?

  (830): View more from Texas

  It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka

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