I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka