3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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