Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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