Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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