I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
