You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
