It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
