My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
