I CAN MOONWALK!
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
