On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
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