i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
