try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
