I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Randomize
