I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
