Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
