so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
