How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
