just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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