tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize