I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
