I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
