carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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