I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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