We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
