you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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