another moral hangover. fuck.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
