she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
