Small penises have feelings too.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
