Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Blood and glitter go together right?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
