I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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