I cockslap morals
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
