Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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