If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
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You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
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No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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