She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
