VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
