I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
