oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
