Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
