Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
