well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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