You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize