You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
