Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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