Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
