i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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