Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize