Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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