I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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