Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
