Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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