Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Vodka?
Forever.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
