six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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