There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
