I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
