Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
